Sorry

Ok, purely theoretical audience! Sorry about being so late, and not doing anything for sooooo long. I'm afraid I still haven't done anything substantial.

but to the matter at hand

My "best friend" who I've always considered my best friend, is probably not. I've known this for a long time, she's slowly closing me off from everything. It feels to me like everyone else knows everything and I'm left out alone. She's writing a book, ok. Each of her friends has a name in it, she's doing it slightly based on her life I guess. She's actually managed to complete some of it and stay focused and determined. I don't know how to do that. Maybe it's because my subjects that I write about in my "books" are not having enough feeling for me. Or maybe I'm just not a writer. I love writing I really do. I say I don't have time but I really do. It's just stupid things like iPods and TVs that distract me and make me brain dead. I think it's probably both. If I can, when I'm in New York over break while my cousins are still in school I will sit down at my computer and start from a clean slate. And just try and write something that actually means something to me that I will be happy about and determined to finish. Or draw or paint. I can't decide which of my arts to focus on, Writing, Drawing or Acting/Singing. Life is hard and unfair. It's to sad to be an optimist.